BECKETT TYPE SKETCH FOR 2 ACTORS

(A field. Midnight. Full moon. Hatter, an old clown, still in his clown make up and costume, from the show, sits on a tree stump looking depressed. Enter Hare, another old clown, looking depressed as well.)


Hatt. You got here.

Hare. Yes.

Hatt. Did you manage to slip out undetected?



(Hare nods dejectedly.)



Hatt. Who was on?

Hare. Mario and his dancing penguins.

Hatt. I thought they got sick.

Hare. He gave them anti-biotics. In their pilchards.

Hatt. I thought they liked herring?

Hare. No. Pilchards.



(Hare looks up despondently.)



The moon is full. They say starring at it can drive you mad.

Hatt. Well don’t stare!



(Hatt gets up and paces around annoyed.)



You did it again you know. (Miming.) I blow in my saxophone. Your trousers fall down. I drop the baby in surprise, and when we both bend over, bingo! Our heads bang together, but yours was miles away. Miles away.

Hare. I can’t concentrate.

Hatt. Miles away.

Hare. I feel confused.

Hatt. Miles away.

Hare. My mind wanders.

Hatt. Miles away.

Hare. I’m bored with it.

Hatt. (Superior and knowing.) Look. They’re not paying us to be ordinary people who manage to preserve their dignity by rigidly controlling every single aspect of their behaviour and keeping it all within a small and undemonstrative framework.



(Pause.)



Hare. What are you? Some kind of therapist?

Hatt. No. I’m a clown.

Hare. You are a clown.

Hatt. And what are you then. Winston bloody Churchill?

Hare. I told you before that the head banging bizznizz was old hat but you wouldn’t listen, would you?

Hatt. Well. What did you come up with. The fucking squirting flower! Who hasn’t seen that before?

Hare. The kids like the squirting flower! It has class!

Hatt. It’s got about as much class as my arse!



(They square up to each other. Turn away. Hare sits on the tree stump.)



Hare. Oh what difference does it make? It’s not what we want to do.

Hatt. No.

Hare. It’s not like it’s our act.

Hatt. No.

Hare. It’s not the act we wrote.

Hatt. All those years ago.

Hare. In the boarding house.

Hatt. In Brighton.

Hare. When we first met.

Hatt. (Laughing.) Mrs troubshaw.

Hare. (Laughing.) She said her husband’s car had a catholic converter.

Hatt. She had that stick to measure the bathwater.

Hare. In case you took too much.

Hatt. When you farted she said.

Hare. I fear someone has had an extraneous eruction!



(They both laugh.)



Hatt. Priceless. And what about mr Troubshaw.

Hare. The mysterious Mr T.

Hatt. Yeah. You hardly ever saw him.

Hare. Always in the other part of the house.

Hatt. Locked away.

Hare. Doing his stuff.

Hatt. But when he did come out.

Hare. His skin.

Hatt. Like it was covered in a fine white powder.

Hare. Sort of desiccated.

H&H. UUUrrgghh.

Hatt. You know what he was doing back there.

Hatt. I can imagine.

Hare. Holidaymaker’s mysterious disappearance.

Hatt. Torso found by side of dual carriageway.

Hare. Local iron mongers sells out of industrial acid.

H&H. UUUgghhhrrrgh. DESSICATED!

Hatt. I didn’t like being in the same room as him.

Hare. Me nie-ther.

Hatt. Nee-ther.

Hare. Niether. (Pause.) So you know. Why the hell aren’t we doing our OUR act? That was the act we wrote. That’s why we got together. The act. It’s us. Isn’t it? And do we do it? No we don’t.

Hatt. It aint that simple.

Hare. Yes it is.

Hatt. No it isn’t! And we’ve discussed this a million times.

Hare. So?

Hatt. You just can’t do your own act. Nobodies going to pay you for that. Not in this post-modern world.

Hare. Fucking post-modern world.

Hatt. It just isn’t going to happen.

Hare. But our act is good!

Hatt. That isn’t the point. You have to entertain.

Hare. (Disgust.) Entertain. Where’s the artistic element in that?

Hatt. Art isn’t an issue. Only entertainment.

Hare. Bloody philistines.

Hatt. That may well be. But that’s how it is. In this culture, at this point in time, all they want is trouser dropping…

Hare. Head banging…

Hatt. Baby losing…

Hare. Fire engine bell ringing…

Hatt. Custard pie receiving…

Hare. Saxophone bubble blowing…

Hatt. Flower squirting…

Hare. BOLLOX! (Pause.) But our act is good. (Pause.) Let’s do it now.

Hatt. What?

Hare. Let’s do it now. Here.

Hatt. Why? No one’s watching.

Hare. Does there have to be an audience?

Hatt. Yes. Of course. I’m an artist.

Hare. You’re a tosser. Look. I’m the audience, and you’re the audience.



(Hatt is not convinced.)



Percy mate! For the love of Gawd! Let’s do it. Our act. For one last time, here, in a field, under a full moon, at midnight, (Indicating audience.) for the cows, if no one else! It’s our act fer Kristsakes!!!!!!!



(Hatt struggles and at last capitulates. He nods. They turn round and reach into hold-all, that Hare brought on with him. Turn back wearing some kind of nazi uniform with Hitler moustaches. German accents.)



Hare. Hello children.

Hatt. Are you feeling unhappy.

Hare. Are you feeling depressed.

Hatt. Are you tired of zee know-it-all adults?

Hare. Telling you to sit down?

Hatt. To shut up.

Hare. To behave like them?

Hatt. To be boring unhappy robots.

Hare. In a boring unhappy universe?

Hatt. And giving you zee potty training.

Hare. Poop poop poop.

Hatt. Zee etiquette training.

Hare. Zee fork, zee spoon, zee k-niff.

Hatt. Zee brain training.

Hare. (Singing.) I am zee very model of a modern major general, with informations animal, zee vegetable and mineral.

Hatt. Zen fear no more.

Hare. For we are here.



Song



Everybody needs to be

A nazi now and then

What will make zee world go round

A final prog-err-ah-ham!!!

So it’s time to get your parents

Take them far away

Conduct some fun experiments

It’s time for you to play.

They acted like nazis to poor you

Now you can be a nazi to them

It’s only fair

Do you think they care?

How much must you bear?

(March type music.)

So children unite!

You know you must fight.

This parental blight!

For we are the Hitler clowns

And we are fucking right!





Hare. It’s a fantastic act!

Hatt. It certainly hits the spot.

Hare. The Hitler clowns. What a genius we had when we came up with that!!!

Hatt. Yeah. Genius.

Hare. The moon’s gone behind a cloud.

Hatt. Yeah. (Pause.) Well. That’s that then. We did it.

Hare. Yeah. One last time.

Hatt. One last time.

Hare. The last post.

Hatt. The end of the road.

Hare. The final …

Hatt. Curtain?

Hare. Encore.

(Pause.)

Hatt. Did you bring it?

Hare. You mean the rope? The rope to hang ourselves with?

Hatt. (Sarcastic.) No. The bleedin clockwork stirrup pump.

Hare. (Despondent.) Yeah.



(Mime. Takes it out of bag. Everything with rope is mimed.)



Hatt. What are you looking at me like that for? We agreed. We painstakingly went through all the pros and cons, the ifs and buts, the yeas and nays. Are we going to carry on being a couple of sad old clowns, going through the same stale routines, just to make a mindless bunch of kids, scream pointlessly with mindless bloody laughter? Are we? Are we? Where’s are dignity? Where’s our integrity? Where’s our true clown spirit? I’ll tell you. Here. Here, in this here rope. Rope. (Pause.) So come on. Tie the bloody noose and let’s get it over with.

(Hare starts to tie rope to tree bough above head.)

Hare. But one of us will have to go first and then suppose the other one changes his mind. Loses his nerve.

Hatt. We discussed that. Memory like a sieve. We go together.

Hare. Two heads in one noose? That’s a bit unorthodox.

Hatt. Yes. Well. We’re clowns not merchant bankers.

Hare. (Worried.) But will it work? Surely the noose is a one person piece of equipment?

Hatt. (Thinking.) Alright then. We go one at a time.

Hare. But who goes first?

Hatt. I will. There. Problem solved.

(Hare organises rope and moves tree stump to stand on. Hatt stands on it. Noose mime.

Hare. Ready?

Hatt. Ready. (Pause.) I hereby renounce life for being the painful godless sham it is, Samuel Beckett. Like a mental patient receiving an award for playing William Shakespeare, yadda yadda yadda, the end.



(Hatt sways on the tree stump. Screws eyes shut. Tension.)



Hare. Wait!

Hatt. What?

Hare. I’ve had a strange kind of epiphany or mystical realisation!

Hatt. Oh bollox! What?

Hare. I’ve realised. If I looked in my heart. If I was honest with myself, really honest, not pretend honest, I’d have to admit, I’ve only one real friend in the world. And that’s you Hatt. And when you stepped up there on the stump, I saw it all. All we have shared. All the struggle. All the heartache. All the times we died on our arses. The boredom. The rejections. All of it. And I realised. There’s still one thing that’s important to me. And that’s not, NOT, letting you down. So that’s why I’m making this confession. Because once you’ve gone, I don’t think I’ll be able to go through with it. Without you here, to egg me on, my nerve will go. And I don’t want to let you down. That would make me fell worse than what I normally feel even. So I’m asking you. (Kneeling like in prayer.)Hatt. Give it another go. Maybe there is a point to it all. Maybe there is a purpose. Maybe there’s,(Like a sacrilege.) even a God. Who knows. Who really knows. Please.



(Hatt takes off noose and steps down off tree stump.


They awkwardly embrace. Take down rope and put it in hold-all.)



Hatt. So. A happy ending.

Hare. (Despondent.) Yeah. Happy.

Hatt. Come on.



(They start to leave.)



And remember. Tomorrow night. When I drop the baby.

Hare. Yeah yeah yeah.



(They exit. Curtain.)

THE IMPRO MYTHS

IMPRO MYTH ONE


Your mind analyses the elements of a scene in order to arrive at the thing you must contribute.



This is the most prevalent myth, Mr Jones, and the use of games and controlling strategies, that rely on cultural expertise, fosters this myth. HOWEVER. It is a myth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A better way to arrive at the knowledge of what to contribute to a scene, is to feel your way into it. FEEL. Don’t look directly at it. This isn’t about emotion. Emotion a different area. You must feel. Stop thinking. Feel your way in the dark. Work with the your lack of knowledge, not your possession of knowledge. The analogy is with driving a car. You feel it. You drive with the seat of your pants. It is instinctive.

So guideline, not rule, is to feel. It you start thinking, try and observe yourself doing it, and them remind yourself to feel.

And this means feeling simple things. Like for example, feeling hot. Or feeling your uncertainty. Feeling your unsure-ness about what to do in a scene, could well be a good starting point for a scene. It’s an illogical thing, that uncertainty can be productive of certainty. But there it is. And when people say, “But I don’t know what I feel!” then of course, that is what you feel. This boredom. Frustration. Doubt.

IMPRO MYTH TWO

To be good at impro you must be witty clever and talented.

Well Mr Jones,this is the socially conditioned view of impro based on all the ideas we have been imprinted with by the competitive, judgemental, goal orientated world, we have all grown up in. Much better to just understand that this is not the reality. It is just a very one-dimensional view of life. A very self-obsessed view. Talent is indeed a wonderful thing, but it often has the negative effect of making people over value one area of their lives, causing an imbalance. Picasso was a good example. No one can deny his power in creating images. He was though not good at relationships, even with his own children! Also talent is really very misunderstood. It helps to shift the focus and see it in terms of extra self awareness, relating to a certain area. In short, Mr Long, impro can be whatever we make it. Whatever we bring to it. It is up to us.

IMPRO MYTH THREE

Impro is so frightening it can kill you!

Hear is our fear of losing our coolness coolness! Mr Jones! writ large for all to see. We are terrified of stepping out of the comfort zone. The known. And this really is just ignoring reality in a head strong stubborn way, for no matter what fight we put up, or resistance we have, life will eventually force us out of the known, the comfort zone, and the intelligent thing is to go to meet it, and not passively wait till it comes crashing down on your comfortable head!!!!!!! OUCH!

IMPRO MYTH FOUR

You can progress up through the levels with impro getting more and more sophisticated as you go along.


What important to understand here, Mr Jones, is that on the one hand you can become more fluid in changing your intensity, and consequently be a better improviser, but impro itself is a zen thing. It will always be the stupid silly thing it was when you first did it. There’s a book called ‘zen mind beginner’s mind,’ and this the impro mind. It always a beginners mind, even if you are very quick fluent and proficient at doing it!!!Doh!!!!!

IMPRO MYTH FIVE

Impro will help you in other areas of life.

Finally!!! Mr Jones! A myth that is true!!! I knew we’d get there sooner or later, Mr Jones!!! Yes. Whether it a job interview, the need to chat up the opposite sex, creative writing, or whatever, impro can and will help in these and other areas. Hoo-ray! Success at last!!!

IMPRO & THE SPIRITUAL

Impro is people improvising games, stories, scenes, songs, in a performance context,or in a workshop, and this is not considered spiritual by the majority. Spirituality is always seen as something elevated and refined and what happens when you free associate, is a load of repressed sex and rage type stuff comes up, and this seen as low. Base. Not elevated. Impro also seen as people being witty & flippant, entertaining and funny. Something clever and heady. And again that show-biz, not spiritual. And this is product of turning impro, into an entertainment. A comedy producing machine. It’s as well to remember though that Keith Johnson, who wrote the book, and who started the whole impro movement, did not start it entirely for that. His original impro experiments went into much darker areas. They were much more to do with serious theatre. Narrative. Character. So if we shift the focus on this, and now look at impro, only as a scene, A SCENE, generating machine,  a way to find a story and some characters, we must ask what is actually happening when we enter a scene? What are the fundamental elements of that? The answer is that the fundamental thing is, we cannot control or choose, most of what occurs in the scene. We have no real way of choosing the elements in a scene. They won’t conform to our tastes, ideas, expectations!!!!!!!!!


(A enters. Starts cleaning a window. B enters with a baby in her arms. Says. “It’s got a fever!” Concerned, A mops baby’s brow with window sponge. B says, “Not with that!” And a row ensues.)

As you can see here at beginning A does not know who he is. Where he is. What his relation to B is. This was all made clear be B’s offer of bringing in the baby. It then became clear they were parents at home. The point being that what ever is there, the window cleaning, the baby, the sponge, you will have to work with it. You can’t really choose it. A does know why he cleaning window. B doesn’t know how A react to the baby. If indeed she does know she is holding a baby. Agreement must be reached, because no one knows what’s there to begin with. But whatever is there we must work with it. We can’t ignore the window cleaning. The baby. The sponge. We must work with these elements.

Now this is the spiritual truth impro shows us, in that in life we often find good reasons for not working with what’s there. If a thing is below our standards, not to our taste, not what we expected, not in keeping with our ideas, somehow ‘unsavoury’, we reject it in favour of some other thing, we can go in search of!!! IN SEARCH OF!!!! i.e. something in the future. At a later date. Not now. We have this luxury in life that we can control, reject, pass over things in search of a more pleasing, or a better alternative, in the future. And this is perfectly acceptable and fine. The drawback with it of course, is that it does take us out of the moment. OUT OF THE MOMENT! By embracing something that only exists in the future, we are rejecting the here and now. We are not being in the moment. This is a thing that gurus and impro teachers alike, are always, constantly  telling us to do. Stay in the moment. And impro  does actively teach us that we can do this. WE CAN! That we can shift the focus on this. We can instead accept what is there, and work with it, intelligently looking for agreements, instead of denying what’s in front of us, and demanding something different.

WE CAN!

Now this is the harder option, but in long term it will achieve a more satisfying outcome. Now you might protest that this isn’t a spiritual truth, but a self-development truth, and that they are not the same thing. And this is very common. Most people do not want spirituality to be about the nuts and bolts of human relationships, but  choose to see it as something more refined, more elevated. More, in a word, SPIRITUAL. In response to this I’ll say that charity, begins at home. How can something be spiritual, if it separates you from others, by making us feel superior???

Also that spiritual comes from word 'spirit'. and this is something disembodied. and before we incarnate our group awareness is effectively disembodied, and so spirituality is essentially about group awareness, or our
relationship to each other, in group terms.

It also mirrors the fact that we need to find connections between things, for we can only really make progress in our understanding of life, when we can relate one thing, to another different thing, and so intuit the pattern that lies beyond the surface of things. Having said this though, in doing impro we must not think we can use it in one particular way. i.e. as an exercise in finding the links between things, because that is what its for. No. We need to drop all our agendas, try and be in the moment, and trust in ourselves to grow from the experience, no matter how it transpires. Put another way, we must try not to be too goal orientated, which again is putting the focus on something in the future.

Now in coming to impro everyone more or less, starts in the same place. And this is a painful uncomfortable place. The place of being stuck. In Toltec terms it means your assemblage point is fixed. Stuck on one spot. What impro requires is fluidity. When you assemblage point moves, keeping it simple, you change your intensity. You would change in a scene, because the story demands it, from a young person to an old person, say. Two very different intensities. This would require an energetic fluidity. Or put simply, the ability to drop one thing and take up another quite quickly. So, to un-stick ourselves means we will have to go through an unpleasant period. A probationary period. For some time it feel wrong. Difficult. Even perhaps hopeless. However, if we can just stay with it, and trust in the process, we will reap the spiritual rewards it has to offer. These benefits are the cornerstone of spiritual development. This is why impro, even when it is seen as being very challenging, and not spiritual by most people, and the province of a few ultra talented types, is really none of these things and IS something worth pursuing from a spiritual standpoint.

IMPRO-THE SHOCKING TRUTH!

INTRO:
The main difficulty in gaining a deeper understanding of just about anything, is that we tend to view things in isolation. Consequently we see impro, as being solely about performance, theatre maybe, having fun, comedy, and so on. Being identified with our view of the world means we have this narrow focus and this prevents us seeing that that things do connect. One thing does merge into another. Our narrow focus though demands that it doesn’t. In this purist sense then, impro is only about impro, as theatre is only about theatre, and film is only about film. Put another way, we do not see that life is a whole, and that if we are going to tune up one area, like say the performance area, we do need to carry that through and tune up all the other areas. Like for example, we can become a better improviser, and still be terrible at relationships. For these are two different things, quite unconnected, and we have decided we want to be better at impro, for we have performance ambitions in that area, but we are not too bothered about relationships, for we feel that that’s just how we are. Or that this is not our preference, for something to work with. Now what I have spoken about here is something which it is very difficult for the rational mind to grasp. This is a truth you cannot flatten out and explain. Consequently I’ll begin this exposé of the shocking truth about impro, by saying that it doesn’t matter if cannot grasp what I am saying here. SHOCK! HORROR! Try to let go of that desire to analytically understand everything, at least in this context. And then try to just flow with your feelings. So in the end, if all this article does, should you get to the end of it, is just to annoy you, then that in a way is good. It is how you feel. And that is the right place to start. And if you can do this and keep doing this whilst suspending judgement, understanding will arrive, sooner or later.

The shocking truth: The Beginning!

So, to begin with, in the first instance, no matter what the deeper truths of the impro scene are, I would encourage everyone to do it. Working with our blocks and inhibitions in a creative way, can only be a good thing. This holds good even if your interest in impro is purely a performers interest, and not a therapeutic one. Now, moving on to the deeper truths, when people first come to impro they are to different degrees blocked and inhibited, lacking trust and technique, and through doing impro, they are taught a set of rules, which greatly facilitate being un-blocked and spontaneous. And this really facilitates performance, helping the performer’s gifts to really shine through. You internalise the right response to situations, those which allow space, development, and general positive characteristics, and this leads to more satisfying performances. This is the blueprint Keith Johnson, who wrote the book on it, has given us. So job done! People are now free spontaneous improvisers! So what’s the problem?

The problem is, and this is a truth we’d all, in our mad scramble for fame and glory, much rather ignore, is that impro shows are entertaining and funny, and audiences are amazed to see people working without a script, and yet these same shows are also predictable, and a bit stereotypical, with obvious plots and obvious characters. To recap, you create a comedy product, but it lacks authenticity, or any deeper level. What you get is the appearance of spontaneity, but not spontaneity itself. You don’t get anything new, quirky, left field or original. Now if we just want bland X-factor type entertainment this is fine. But if we want, like Oliver, a little more, then this a problem. And if that the case we must identify where problem stems from. Now. I always felt uncomfortable in impro classes because people would insist on me following the rules. And I knew, the rules do work. I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH RULES!!! I am not proposing anarchy. Society needs its rules and laws to function effectively. So why was I uncomfortable? And then I realised this was because a part of me knew to be spontaneous, you can’t really follow rules, no matter how well they work! The one doesn’t jibe with the other. The definition of spontaneity is something beyond rules, not in their moral sense, but in sense of what kind of behaviour is allowed. If I push a custard pie in a vicar’s face at a Fete, it would go against the rules of polite behaviour, and yet it would be spontaneous! No question. Pie. Face. Spontaneous. This makes me think of course of Mad Hatter’s tea party in Alice In Wonderland, a situation with a lot of rules about polite behaviour, the English Tea Party, which the Hatter and Hare do not subvert, but simply ignore, thus making an outrageous scene.

Now I’m well aware that most people are happy with the bland predict-able safe comfortable option. They don’t want to be challenged, and neither do they think it is necessary to be challenged. Why bother to think deeply about things, when you have another champagne party instead????? No. This not an easy option. It is very much the ‘unknown’. And that is frightening and difficult. But still. Think. If we hadn’t embraced the ‘unknown’, we wouldn’t have air travel. The internet. Seinfeld. And do you really want to live in a world without those things???

Lecture over. AND NOW IT’S…

The shocking truth!

What has happened is this. The improviser has replaced a bad set of rules, with a good set of rules, but he still in many ways no better off, for he still following a set of rules!!!!!!!!!!!! The point being that our inhibition was never the problem. The problem was what created the inhibition,in the first place, which was rules themselves! So if we continue to adhere to systems that use rules, we are continuing to inhibit ourselves at some deeper level!!! Another way we could put this is to say that in applying the rules and standards that apply to life, society, human conduct, too impro, we are ignoring the fact that impro isn’t life. It is fantasy. Invented. An imaginative realm. So the problem is one of discrimination. We do not discriminate between life, and not-life!!! So that’s all it is. A very simple truth. And yet, one that it is extremely difficult to grasp, as it is really to do with the heart, and not with the head.

Finally, you may think, but this negative truth does not empower me! But think. We automatically see the negative as being something bad and undesirable. And yet in truth, it is just a different type of energy. Positive energy. Negative energy. In physics they wouldn’t say negative energy bad. That would be ridiculous, even for scientists!!! And this is just social conditioning, that has always insisted that we must avoid the dark side. And so we discriminate against, and not between. Bad. Doh! But finally, my last appeal, I would also encourage you to look at successful comedy people like Spike Milligan, John Cleese, Eddie Izzard, and many more. These marvellous people who have done so much to change our awareness of things, and ask yourself, do these people follow the rules???????????? The answer is no. What they have in common is a disregard for rules in general. Look at Cleese goose-stepping in front of the german tourists. Is this following the rules???????????????????Is it???? (Don’t mention the war!!!)

EVERYMAN & FELLOWSHIP

(A modern version of scene from ‘Everyman’ the medieval miracle play.)
(Enter John Everyman. He addresses audience.)

JOHN. Hi. John Everyman. I run a creative design digital media network. We’re at the sharp end of the information highway. (Sighs.) Yadda, yadda, yadda. But having just met ‘ Death’, who informed me, I have to go on a long journey to meet ..(Looks up.) that doesn’t seem quite so important anymore. (Pause.) What am I going to miss most? Golf? Ascot? A private view with Tracey Emin? (Tenderly.) My two boys, Josh and Sebastian. And Belinda of course. Although we have been going through a bit of a rocky patch lately. We did consider counselling, but then we had a row and went off the idea. What can you do? She wants me to go to one of those Tantric sex weekend things. But I find all that new age stuff, too touchy feely. Anyway. All that’s behind me now. Must get moving.

(Pause.) Look! I’ll be honest! The thing I fear most is going alone. Always was the sociable type. If only I could get someone to come with.

(Enter Tony Fellowship.)

Hello! It’s Tony Fellowship! I know him from golf, openings, racing. Just about everything, come to think of it. Tony!

(Tony saunters over.)

TONY. John! Fancy meeting you here? In this busy street in a modern city.

JOHN. Yes. Co-in, or what? Walk?

(They walk and chat.)

So. How’s Biz?

TONY. Oh. Mustn’t grumble. We got the Fairchild contract.

JOHN. Oh well done! Mountains of moolah.

TONY. Yes. Mountains! (Pause.) But money isn’t everything.

JOHN. (Shaking head.) No.

TONY. (Shaking head.) No.

(They walk. John lowers head.)

TONY. You seem a bit despond old boy.

JOHN. Am I?

TONY. Yes. Got a prob?

JOHN. Yes. I’m in trouble.

TONY. Look John. Whatever it is. You can depend on me. I’m your friend.

JOHN. I appreciate that Tony. You’re a brick.

TONY. So. Come on. Out with it. If some bastards done you over I’ll…

JOHN. No. It’s nothing like that. But I am worried. It is bad. Very bad. And if I unload on you, and it’s like too much, then I’ll feel ten times worse. I know I will.

TONY. (Open arms.) John! I won’t let you down!

JOHN. You won’t?

TONY. (Firm.) No.

JOHN. Yeah. You always were there for me.

TONY. (Conviction.) And I always will be! Why. If you were in Hell, not that it exists, I’d go right down there, and get you right out!

JOHN. You would, wouldn’t you.

TONY. Yes. Indubitably. Without doubt.

JOHN. It’s only as much as I deserve, considering.

TONY. Don’t talk about deserving. I’m not doing this because you’re deserving. But if a chap can’t back his words up with actions, what is he? A worm.

JOHN. A louse.

TONY. A worthless fellow. So John. Tell me what it is. And I, rest assured, will stand by you.

(Long pause. I mean long. There is a long pause. John overcomes his inner conflict and then speaks. After a pause.)

JOHN. I met someone or ‘something’and it informed me, and there is no argument about this, I must, I must, I have to go on a long journey, right away, to meet… (Looks up.) And, big and, I need someone to ‘come with’.

(Long pause.)

TONY. Right. (Pause.) Now let’s consider this like rational human beings.

JOHN. Yes. Let’s.

TONY. I have said I won’t let you down. That’s taken as read, isn’t it?

JOHN. Yes.

TONY. Even though, anyone in his right mind, would be just a little scared out of his wits, at such a prospect, I said, I would.

JOHN. You said you would, even go to hell! Not that it exists, and get me right out, should that be the case.

TONY. Yes. I did ‘say’ that. You’re not wrong there. Those words. Yes. I spoke them. (Pause.) But all that aside, important as it is, if we go on this journey, when will we be coming back?

JOHN. Well, never.

TONY. What never?

JOHN. No. Never.

TONY. Just what was this someone or something you met?

JOHN. It was Death.

TONY. DEATH! Well that means then you’re asking me to go on a journey to my certain death! Me! Tony Rupert Fellowship!

Who never had a day off sick in his life! Me! Dead! Gone! (Pause.) I’m not fucking going!

JOHN. But you promised!

TONY. Promised. Promised. That’s putting it a bit strongly. Promised.(Pause.) Look. Ask me anything else. Drugs. Money laundering. Even to go on one of those touchy feely Tantric sex things, but don’t ask me this. I just can’t die. Not today, thank you very much. (Pause.) I’d even go as far as murder.

(John grabs him by the shoulders.)

JOHN. LOOK! I don’t need a murder! I need someone to come with me on that long last road to see … (Looks up.) Remember. Remember all we’ve shared together. When we won the Cup. When we had sex with those 2 girls at Uni. in a field under the stars. Our men’s group vision quest when we all got naked and roared at the moon!!!! For God sakes REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!

(Pause.)

TONY. Good times, bad times. But death is death.

JOHN. (Deflated.) Yes. Out brief can…Yes. You’re right. Well at least walk me to the tube. I must be off.

TONY. I would. Honestly. But I’m due at the Office.

(Tony begins to leave.)

JOHN. (Bitter.) Go on then. Go to your office!

(Tony comes back. Gives John a look.)

JOHN. Don’t worry. I forgive you. Go on. Go and live. Have a long life. I give you my blessing.

TONY. Thanks.

(They hug. Tony exits.)

JOHN. O false and fickle world, my fate is set, I am everything, and nothing yet.





CURTAIN

What are the Toltec Teachings?

You may have heard the word Toltec and vaguely associated it with Aztec and Mayan cultures, or, you may be able to connect it to the work of Carlos Castaneda, who is rightly considered the father of all new age movements, being the first to get wide recognition for bringing up self-development and self-empowerment issues. In actual fact, the word Toltec, as it is used by Theun Mares, the Nagal, and creator of the Toltec Teachings, (see www.toltec-foundation.org.com) refers to a covert tradition stretching back across millennia, whereby through methods and techniques known to members, and initiates, knowledge, true knowledge, could be gained that would lead to freedom. This knowledge and the tradition it stems from have been now made public by Theun Mares, by virtue of fact that since June 1995, mankind has come of age, and now must take responsibility for himself, and his world.

Now the first emergence of this knowledge was through Carlos Castaneda, specifically through the man he named Don Juan, who was indeed a fine Toltec warrior. Confusion has arisen though, because many see Castaneda as a Toltec teacher, when in truth, he was simply a very gifted messenger, of the existence of the teachings, and not a teacher as such. It’s also true that he did not always report the teachings exactly as Don Juan gave them to him. He was, economical with the truth. A product perhaps of him being a best-selling author? Whatever. He was one of the great writers of the twentieth century, who does present us with profound, awe inspiring, sublime, truths. Also, it is important to understand that before Castaneda, all esoteric writing had only a small coterie audience. Castaneda brought it into the mainstream, creating an interface between the academic and the shamanic world. In doing this he did us all a profound service. Don Carlos was my first teacher. Not personally, but through his work, and I, along with many others, owe him an immense debt of gratitude.

Since 1995 the true Toltec teachings have existed in book form. A complete set of Toltec manuals for self-transformation and empowerment, and a very brilliant, well presented and well conceived set they are! Perfectly structured to the lead the would-be apprentice from right side awareness, through to left side awareness, with apposite axioms and guidance, at every step of the way. If I may cite my own case. I had made good progress working with Castaneda, but was still far from any true understanding, or real self-awareness. The true teachings solved this problem for me, and I was eventually able to see the interrelationship of life, something which has empowered me enormously.

Now the point of this article is to show the teachings in relation to other systems, or things available at this point in time. The list would include Neil David Walsch, Osho, Eckhart Tolle, Suzuki, Watts, De Mello, A course in Miracles, and many more writers, teachers etc. Now, I want to make it clear that I think all this work is extremely useful, and it does, for the most part, contain absolute truth, and that this is a wonderful and comforting thing. So. How do the Toltec-Teachings differ? The answer is that if, if, you were really committed about self-transformation; were you one of those few dedicated beings who will settle for nothing less, than being a warrior on the path of freedom, then the above, is simply not enough. Why? Because it is not enough simply to be told ‘the truth’. We may know it, but we still do not own it. Like it or not, it is a verifiable fact of ‘depth psychology’, that due to our inner split, we can hold knowledge, without really acknowledging it. Or, put another way, being enlightened isn’t just having the right answers. Nowadays we can memorize the right answers from any number of published works, but will that guarantee that when we walk out the front door we will act in an enlightened manner? The answer must be a resounding NO!!!!!! Another analogy would be the math’s test. If we were to take one and simply write down the right answers would we pass? No. Without the relevant working out we will not get full marks. Similarly it is not enough to talk glibly about ‘process’ work. How people love to talk, but is this ‘process’ really going in the right direction. It it an effective ‘process’? Whichever way you turn the same fact confronts us.

INFORMATION IS NOT KNOWLEDGE

And just because we talk intelligently about things does not mean we have gained experience or true knowledge. And this is how the Toltec-Teachings differ, in that they do not just impart truths, but also provide us with tools whereby these truths can be corroborated for oneself. They provide practical techniques whereby truth, can be owned through experience, and then put to a meaningful use within your life. In short they don’t just tell you things. They give you guidance on how you can find things out for yourself. I make this point strongly for so often I see headstrong people, who have all the answers on anything you care to mention, and yet these people are still desperately unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives. They will sit there advising you on self-development, or inner work, whilst at the same time being incapable of being happy, or having a relationship, or knowing any kind of purpose themselves. Madness.

This is how the teachings differ. I hope this article might help to clear up some of the confusion which surrounds the word Toltec. I am not an official spokesperson for the teachings, just someone who has used them successfully. Obviously in the final analysis there is no substitute for the teachings themselves, and I urge everyone to familiarize themselves with them, for no matter what your motive, they are mankind’s most invaluable asset, at this moment in time.

www.toltec-foundation.org

the authentic you and theatre improvisation

Problems often stem from having internalised or introjected (clever depth psychology word), a very literal model of life, the universe, and everything! So that what always happens is this. Example. You feel stimulated and alive, say as a teenager. Then you get a bit older and through habit or whatever, you lose that feeling. To regain it you start drinking more stimulating drinks, like tea and coffee. Problem solved! Or is it? Well, in truth, as we all discover, stimulating yourself is fine, but there does come a point where the toxic nature of this forces you to stop. So there is big drawback with this method and, there is also the fact that stimulating yourself leaves you feeling empty and hollow. It like Chinese water torture. This is a stimulant which over time turns into a nightmare of pain. Problem being that it doesn’t spring from within you. It just a delusion, or what we could term delusional behavior. Somehow or other we have become conditioned into accepting it as the real deal. It is a dogma. Creed. Belief. We say, I will create or make the way I feel. I will not simply accept the way I feel. But to accept a feeling state you forced on yourself! as being real, the ’authentic’ you, is a delusion! We go on doing it though, for we have invested so much faith and trust in it, we really can’t imagine a world without it. It is our comfort, our balm, our pint of bitter and a packet of crisps! Try and remove it and the weeping and wailing begins. Or rather, THE ANXIETY! And people, even big strong men, do not want to feel their fear. Now I said at beginning, rather dogmatically, that all problems stem from being too literal. How does this apply here? Well stop. Think, Horatio!

1. We don’t feel stimulated.

2. Stimulating drinks stimulate us so we drink one.

3. We feel stimulated!

In other words, our way of solving the problem IS QUITE LITERAL! It is simple cause and effect. A + B = C! But as I have demonstrated, this literal model is not helping you. You’ll end up feeling hollow and empty and toxic, and is that what you want really want, really want?

Here is another way to look at it. Suppose you have a problem with John. You get an angry unfocussed feeling when you near to him. So literal model states you must go straight to the problem. So you must confront John about this. But fact is, John is gay. You are a straight bloke. This is real problem area. So you confront John and say, “I’ve got a problem with you. You must do something.” So john says, “Yes. I’ll stop being gay.” Problem solved! But truth is, he just humoring you, and even if he isn’t, what about when you meet other gay men?

Now. Here is yet another example. Suppose you don’t understand yourself. Your subjective world. So, Literal Model states, you go straight there. You take a drug. A mind altering substance. This forces the hidden part to emerge. It unlocks the door. Hey presto! Problem solved! But is it? And this the hard part to understand. There is big difference between experiencing something and working with it. It therapy terms it the difference between what is ‘acting out’ and what is ‘resolving’. This difference is not one though that the rational mind can easily grasp. Only thru experience can you begin to grasp the difference here. Bear in mind, experiencing is not experience. Experiencing is what is constantly happening, whereas experience is something looked back on which we have learnt from. I can corroborate this from my own experience. As a teenager I experimented with LSD. I remember vividly, on one trip, looking in a mirror and seeing a monster starring back at me, and at the time thinking, I will not deal with that now. Now is not the moment to try and deal with this monster inside me. And it wasn’t. I was experiencing. Years later, when I started therapy, I began to work with this monster. Which was not a monster at all, but simply my latent potential.

Moving on to Theatre Impro. You can see this same thing quite clearly. Scenes always tend to go in an unproductive, in the sense of not developing in a more psychological or interesting direction, i.e. not just comedy, because people approach things head on, or in too literal a manner. If scene starts with ‘A’ in a room. ‘B’ will enter and direct his focus and attention onto ‘A’.

(A in room painting a wall. B enters.)

B. What are you doing?

A. I’m painting the wall.

Now this is really a block, it impedes development, as we can see what A is doing and speech told us nothing about B. If on contrary, B enters and does not direct his focus onto A, i.e., is not literal or head on, and instead sits on a chair with his head drooped, we have..

(A in room painting a wall. B enters. Sits with head drooped.)

A. (Painting.) You’re not still depressed are you?

B. Yes I am.

Now this not a block. It tells us stuff about the characters and points the way forward; we must now learn why B is depressed, and what the relationship is, and all because it arose from a non-literal model. Think! Literally speaking a scene which begins with a man painting a wall is about wall painting, and the man’s relationship to it. Just as a play about injustice, has a man wrongly accused of crime and being sent to prison. THIS IS THE LITERAL MODEL!

HOWEVER. None of the above is a hard and fast rule. These are rather guidelines or areas to think in. Generally speaking, when entering a scene, it is more about feeling around something, rather than looking straight at it. It is like crossing your eyes. Shifting the focus. Ask yourself, how do I feel here? Literally, you may be in a shop buying trousers but non-literally you are feeling impatient because…????? You’re late? You’re tired of wearing trousers???? The shop assistant loves you but won’t admit it?????

To recap. You enter a scene in which it is not decided yet what scene is about, but in which some action is happening. Say a man reading the paper. So, Literal Model states, you go straight there. You approach man and say, “ Why are you reading the paper?” This version A. But in version B. The non-literal model. You enter scene where man reading paper and it not decided what scene about and you ignore the man, go over to window, draw curtain, look out, and say, “They’ll be here in ten minutes. Don’t you think we should get ready?”

Now. Which version will lead to a more interesting outcome. A or B?

Another impro issue is naturalness. How can I act natural in a scene? How is it done? Again, taking a literal model we say to ourselves, what is my memory of naturalness or other people’s behavior? I’ll imitate that! This means every shop assistant you play will be modeled on some behavioral model you’ve witnessed and remembered. This is natural. Real. You remember how shop assistants are so if you imitate that and it will, WILL, be natural. It stands to reason.

But think Horatio. This is yet another LITERAL model. It’s literal because there is a literal connection between observed behavior and your performance because it is an imitation. It is the same. However, the audience will not see it as natural for they know shop assistants are also people, regardless of behavior and people are all different. They all have agendas based on their own quirky and idiosyncratic feelings and ideas. So again, the literal approach will convince you, you ARE being ‘natural’, when in reality, you’re not, Horatio! NO YOU AINT!

If through lack of experience of doing impro you find all this hard to understand, don’t worry. Important thing to understand is that it is possible to work with issues of authenticity in a theatre or impro context. And this not psycho-drama. In psycho-drama, negative feeling states are enacted to identify with them. In our work we use the non-literal model in order to detach from these feelings states and see beyond them. So we can, see ourselves ‘acting out’. ‘Identifying.’

It is only normal though, that people have trouble accepting this. We do live in a very ‘literal,’ ‘more is more,’ ‘things go in straight lines,’ world. To move beyond that is a real leap of faith. Imagination. It is worth leaping though, for in impro terms, or theatre terms, or just in living your life terms, contacting the authentic you will put you in touch with where all the really juicy scenes are, HORATIO!