Seed Sonnet
If we could be conscious of just one small seed
We’d know the all of heaven contained there,
We’d know that we must all forthwith take heed
For that which germinates is beyond compare.
It is that most transcendent spark of all,
Which produces all within the mothering womb;
It is that which nothing ever can forestall
As it marches on and on from birth to tomb.
But even more than this it confounds our mind
That only dimly grasps, perhaps even less,
No matter how much sharp intellect seeks to find
Our mind at last must simply acquiesce.
So we of the seed should always stand in awe
To humbly acknowledge her mysterious and en-
compassing law.
ian joynson 2004
Saturday 22 September 2007
The Hurricane's Lesson
THE HURRICANE’S LESSON
The angry brooding hills awake
With thunder massive, over my head;
Across the valley, the Church bell tolls
A sounding note; and in the stillness
My ear intuits clear, the story of that
furious fire,
That burns with slow resentment in my
heart,
Despising this vain and shallow fool
Who thinks he can live, without our
earth’s intent,
Her winds and weathers.
Her passionate storms.
Her cyclonic rages, flattening all.
O foolish man to live this barren lie
To inhabit a fiction, until we die
Thinking we can let, those angry hills
Sleeping, lie.
Never until we allow passion’s fires
to burn,
Will mankind find that lesson his heart
should learn.
The angry brooding hills awake
With thunder massive, over my head;
Across the valley, the Church bell tolls
A sounding note; and in the stillness
My ear intuits clear, the story of that
furious fire,
That burns with slow resentment in my
heart,
Despising this vain and shallow fool
Who thinks he can live, without our
earth’s intent,
Her winds and weathers.
Her passionate storms.
Her cyclonic rages, flattening all.
O foolish man to live this barren lie
To inhabit a fiction, until we die
Thinking we can let, those angry hills
Sleeping, lie.
Never until we allow passion’s fires
to burn,
Will mankind find that lesson his heart
should learn.
The Toltec Path of Freedom
The toltec Path Of Freedom – an introduction (For more information see the website @ www.toltec-foundation.org)
An ordinary housewife, let’s call her Ann, does a college course and there she meets a diverse group of people, her fellow students. Now, Ann has always had a vague feeling there is more to life, but it’s only a very vague indistinct feeling and most of the time she just ignores it. But on the course she meets a man, let’s call him John, who is rather unconventional and strange, but nevertheless a nice person and quite normal in most respects. Being near him though amplifies this vague feeling she has about there being more to life and she realises intuitively that John knows more about this than she does, so she asks John to tell her what it is. Now, John does know what this thing is, for although he doesn’t advertise the fact, he is a warrior on the path of freedom which also means he knows you cannot tell people directly anything about the path of freedom, for it is not something you can explain, it has to be experienced. So, instead of trying to explain things to Ann he suggests a course of action to her. This course of action is really nothing very dramatic or difficult, and it sounds to Ann like quite a stupid idea. John wants her to rent a film from the video shop that she normally wouldn’t watch. This is the stipulation. It must be something she is not interested in. Despite her misgivings let’s say that Ann does this. Being a conventional Mother and housewife, Ann realises, if she is strictly honest with herself, that the kind of film she is not interested in are the obscure and ‘arty’ ones. So she follows this through, even reading up on the subject so that in the end she now feels she can understand what this type of film is about and why it is made, because, albeit conventional Ann is an extremely intelligent and capable person. But despite having done this for six months, Ann still feels she is no nearer to understanding this vague thing about there being more to life and goes back to John to complain that the whole thing has been a failure. John laughs of course and innocently asks if anything else happened in the six months. Ann thinks hard and remembers one thing that was unusual. Her husband had got angry with their daughter for some minor issue, a thing he would never normally have done, and when Ann had tried to discuss it with him the idea had occurred to her that he was actually angry with her. Hearing this John suggests that her instinct is right and that her husband is angry with her for acting out of character with her arty film craze. Then Ann remembers all the sarcastic comments he had made. Hearing this John suggests that maybe her husband doesn’t want her to do anything new. Ann goes home that night and talking to her husband about it finds herself getting extremely angry and shouting at her husband in a way that she did not think she was capable of. When she calms down Ann is shocked. She had never thought of herself as an angry person before, priding herself on her self control and now she realises this is simply something she has hidden from herself.Realising this,she suddenly does feel she is a tiny bit closer to understanding what that vauge thing is which is missing from her life.
What I am trying to illustrate in this story, which I have made up,is the way in which the path of freedom differs from other paths, inasmuch, as it is about changing our perception of ourselves, through stalking our own feelings and emotions. This is the fundamental nature of the path of freedom. It is not about adding something to our lives. It is about working intelligently with what is already in our lives. Fundamental things like relationships. Always though, when people do feel a lack of something in their lives, something they might term a spiritual element, they will miss the boat entirely, in terms of freedom, by assuming it is some definite thing which they can simple acquire, like anything else. So they take up Tai Chi, Yoga, become Astrologers, Witches, Landscape Gardeners, and persuade themselves they have changed, when, in reality, at a fundamental level, nothing has changed within themselves. They have merely added something to an existing configuration. Now, I am not saying that the things mentioned above are not empowering, enlightening, etc. On the contrary, I would heartily recommend them all. What I am saying is that if you use these thing to create a new identity for yourself you will still not be free. You will be a slave to you new identity, just as you were a slave to your old identity. You will still have all your eggs in the identity basket, and the real issues, about your feelings, failings, emotions, as a human being, will carry on being unresolved in the sense that your awareness of these things will not progress in a way which it will effect the quality of your life and those around you.
An ordinary housewife, let’s call her Ann, does a college course and there she meets a diverse group of people, her fellow students. Now, Ann has always had a vague feeling there is more to life, but it’s only a very vague indistinct feeling and most of the time she just ignores it. But on the course she meets a man, let’s call him John, who is rather unconventional and strange, but nevertheless a nice person and quite normal in most respects. Being near him though amplifies this vague feeling she has about there being more to life and she realises intuitively that John knows more about this than she does, so she asks John to tell her what it is. Now, John does know what this thing is, for although he doesn’t advertise the fact, he is a warrior on the path of freedom which also means he knows you cannot tell people directly anything about the path of freedom, for it is not something you can explain, it has to be experienced. So, instead of trying to explain things to Ann he suggests a course of action to her. This course of action is really nothing very dramatic or difficult, and it sounds to Ann like quite a stupid idea. John wants her to rent a film from the video shop that she normally wouldn’t watch. This is the stipulation. It must be something she is not interested in. Despite her misgivings let’s say that Ann does this. Being a conventional Mother and housewife, Ann realises, if she is strictly honest with herself, that the kind of film she is not interested in are the obscure and ‘arty’ ones. So she follows this through, even reading up on the subject so that in the end she now feels she can understand what this type of film is about and why it is made, because, albeit conventional Ann is an extremely intelligent and capable person. But despite having done this for six months, Ann still feels she is no nearer to understanding this vague thing about there being more to life and goes back to John to complain that the whole thing has been a failure. John laughs of course and innocently asks if anything else happened in the six months. Ann thinks hard and remembers one thing that was unusual. Her husband had got angry with their daughter for some minor issue, a thing he would never normally have done, and when Ann had tried to discuss it with him the idea had occurred to her that he was actually angry with her. Hearing this John suggests that her instinct is right and that her husband is angry with her for acting out of character with her arty film craze. Then Ann remembers all the sarcastic comments he had made. Hearing this John suggests that maybe her husband doesn’t want her to do anything new. Ann goes home that night and talking to her husband about it finds herself getting extremely angry and shouting at her husband in a way that she did not think she was capable of. When she calms down Ann is shocked. She had never thought of herself as an angry person before, priding herself on her self control and now she realises this is simply something she has hidden from herself.Realising this,she suddenly does feel she is a tiny bit closer to understanding what that vauge thing is which is missing from her life.
What I am trying to illustrate in this story, which I have made up,is the way in which the path of freedom differs from other paths, inasmuch, as it is about changing our perception of ourselves, through stalking our own feelings and emotions. This is the fundamental nature of the path of freedom. It is not about adding something to our lives. It is about working intelligently with what is already in our lives. Fundamental things like relationships. Always though, when people do feel a lack of something in their lives, something they might term a spiritual element, they will miss the boat entirely, in terms of freedom, by assuming it is some definite thing which they can simple acquire, like anything else. So they take up Tai Chi, Yoga, become Astrologers, Witches, Landscape Gardeners, and persuade themselves they have changed, when, in reality, at a fundamental level, nothing has changed within themselves. They have merely added something to an existing configuration. Now, I am not saying that the things mentioned above are not empowering, enlightening, etc. On the contrary, I would heartily recommend them all. What I am saying is that if you use these thing to create a new identity for yourself you will still not be free. You will be a slave to you new identity, just as you were a slave to your old identity. You will still have all your eggs in the identity basket, and the real issues, about your feelings, failings, emotions, as a human being, will carry on being unresolved in the sense that your awareness of these things will not progress in a way which it will effect the quality of your life and those around you.
learning to see sonnet
LEARNING TO SEE SONNET
When naked souls do bathe in burning blood!
And all horror bursts forth from out the womb of time!
When ten headed devils walk in a burning wood!
And poets’ despair of pointless fruitless rhyme!
When miserable saints off cliffs make their fatal leap,
And sinners’ prosper in their evil ways,
And fools their self-pitying tears do sanctimoniously weep,
And there is no end to all your hollow empty days.
When a new Messiah is seen on your T.V.
Promising all to those who believe in him,
With discount rates for those who cannot pay
And wrist bands to show your superior knowledge to men;
Then at last perhaps in our earthly confusion
We’ll see beyond the surface of illusion!
When naked souls do bathe in burning blood!
And all horror bursts forth from out the womb of time!
When ten headed devils walk in a burning wood!
And poets’ despair of pointless fruitless rhyme!
When miserable saints off cliffs make their fatal leap,
And sinners’ prosper in their evil ways,
And fools their self-pitying tears do sanctimoniously weep,
And there is no end to all your hollow empty days.
When a new Messiah is seen on your T.V.
Promising all to those who believe in him,
With discount rates for those who cannot pay
And wrist bands to show your superior knowledge to men;
Then at last perhaps in our earthly confusion
We’ll see beyond the surface of illusion!
Tuesday 18 September 2007
THE ILLOGICAL JOURNEY
THERE
I went into the dictionary hall
to buy a dictionary.
I put my buttons in the vagina
and a dictionary
fell in the old tin bathtub below.
I picked it up and walked to the line
of fire-breathing dragons.
I put the dictionary in a dragon’s mouth,
slightly burning my hand,
and pulled it out of his arse
as I passed through.
I walked on to where the waterfall began
and jumped down.arrgghhh!
surfacing on a long unmade bed.
I heard the labour party announce
“the suitcase now arriving on platform 1
is for for turpitude.”
I unzipped and entered.
I sat down on an old tree stump
next to a young wardrobe.
I put on my seed pods
and listened to some mathematics.
A Siberian shamen came examining dictionaries.
I showed him mine.
He put it on his minature xylophone.
It made a bad smell.
He nodded and moved on.
The suitcase arrived.
I re-zipped
and took the refrigerator up to the beach.
I walked along with lines of shredded wheat
on either side of me.
The side of beef was open.
I gave some buttons to the Dictaphone
and went in.
BACK
I came out.
The walrus was shining.
I walked the other way.
The shredded wheat gave way
to lines of burnt toast.
I saw a bookcase coming and hopped on.
I showed my dentures to the driver.
I went up the backbone of a fossilised dinosaur.
On the top shelf I found a tub of marge and sat down.
I say watching the burnt toast.
An old twin-tub sat next to me.
We got into a conversation about the weather.
We exchanged mannerisms.
The old twin-tub got off.
I carried on to my perdition.
I went down the backbone and alighted.
It was beginning to moan.
I ran down the keyboard
holding my instincts up.
I came to my cheese sandwhich.
I took out my triangle,
put it in the opened wound,
turned it.
The fear opened.
I went in.
I went into the dictionary hall
to buy a dictionary.
I put my buttons in the vagina
and a dictionary
fell in the old tin bathtub below.
I picked it up and walked to the line
of fire-breathing dragons.
I put the dictionary in a dragon’s mouth,
slightly burning my hand,
and pulled it out of his arse
as I passed through.
I walked on to where the waterfall began
and jumped down.arrgghhh!
surfacing on a long unmade bed.
I heard the labour party announce
“the suitcase now arriving on platform 1
is for for turpitude.”
I unzipped and entered.
I sat down on an old tree stump
next to a young wardrobe.
I put on my seed pods
and listened to some mathematics.
A Siberian shamen came examining dictionaries.
I showed him mine.
He put it on his minature xylophone.
It made a bad smell.
He nodded and moved on.
The suitcase arrived.
I re-zipped
and took the refrigerator up to the beach.
I walked along with lines of shredded wheat
on either side of me.
The side of beef was open.
I gave some buttons to the Dictaphone
and went in.
BACK
I came out.
The walrus was shining.
I walked the other way.
The shredded wheat gave way
to lines of burnt toast.
I saw a bookcase coming and hopped on.
I showed my dentures to the driver.
I went up the backbone of a fossilised dinosaur.
On the top shelf I found a tub of marge and sat down.
I say watching the burnt toast.
An old twin-tub sat next to me.
We got into a conversation about the weather.
We exchanged mannerisms.
The old twin-tub got off.
I carried on to my perdition.
I went down the backbone and alighted.
It was beginning to moan.
I ran down the keyboard
holding my instincts up.
I came to my cheese sandwhich.
I took out my triangle,
put it in the opened wound,
turned it.
The fear opened.
I went in.
Thursday 6 September 2007
clowning workshop
"trying to be joyful means that you know perfectly well that you are sad."(OSHO)
went to a clown workshop. idea to learn clowning, which turns out is all about accessing your inner child. lot of hyped up, bright-eyed young things there. only me feeling kinda down and not chirpy. hadn't wanted go. my partner's idea. long story shortened, i think workshop a waste of time. i can't get into it. o horror! surely to the lord this kind of joyful innocent playing must be good?! let me x-plicate. in order learn clowning you must be childlike. full of innocence and wonder at existence. to me this seems a bit 'ultimate'. yet workshop wants you to just go straight there. stand up and be it! to do that you must feel and be how a child is. so we all try but it's obvious it's not really happening and the reason is no one feels a thing! perfect example of this is exercise with a clown's prop. say a funny object. a lavatory brush. now you have to have a feeling or an emotion towards this object. what happens time and again is the object breaks! they come on and it falls to bits. and not once did anyone react by crying! which is obviously what a child would have done. conclusion. People do not feel. do not have access to their emotions in a creative way. they can't channel their feelings in certain context like clowning. therefore their clowning is just inauthentic. and what i think is before we even consider doing the clowning we should tackle this issue of feeling. accessing our emotions creatively. it's dumb and stupid to go straight to clowning and think we can just force the issue. make it happen. this is dumb and arrogant on our part.SO YOU say say, but this is a job for therapy. and therapy is bad. or we don't need it. but i would say no. we don't need therapy. we need responsibility. we should honestly acknowledge out inability and then take responsibility for it thru self observation so we can see how we can work to improve this issue of being in touch with feelings and emotions in a creativer context.see how effectively we express emotions in different situations. normal situations. be more aware of it! we can pretend to be clowns but that is all it is. pretending. mimicing. acting like. putting on a fake mask. it is not being. we're fooling ourselves if we think it is. it is of course
like the whole world in which we pretend, put on masks,play roles, without ever being authentic or getting to the truth of anything. we never do experience the real joy of being a clown. and that is something worth experiencing. it's not a negligible issue. look at laurel and hardy. the marx brothers. how wonderful it
would be to emulate these marvellous beings! what liberating joy!
went to a clown workshop. idea to learn clowning, which turns out is all about accessing your inner child. lot of hyped up, bright-eyed young things there. only me feeling kinda down and not chirpy. hadn't wanted go. my partner's idea. long story shortened, i think workshop a waste of time. i can't get into it. o horror! surely to the lord this kind of joyful innocent playing must be good?! let me x-plicate. in order learn clowning you must be childlike. full of innocence and wonder at existence. to me this seems a bit 'ultimate'. yet workshop wants you to just go straight there. stand up and be it! to do that you must feel and be how a child is. so we all try but it's obvious it's not really happening and the reason is no one feels a thing! perfect example of this is exercise with a clown's prop. say a funny object. a lavatory brush. now you have to have a feeling or an emotion towards this object. what happens time and again is the object breaks! they come on and it falls to bits. and not once did anyone react by crying! which is obviously what a child would have done. conclusion. People do not feel. do not have access to their emotions in a creative way. they can't channel their feelings in certain context like clowning. therefore their clowning is just inauthentic. and what i think is before we even consider doing the clowning we should tackle this issue of feeling. accessing our emotions creatively. it's dumb and stupid to go straight to clowning and think we can just force the issue. make it happen. this is dumb and arrogant on our part.SO YOU say say, but this is a job for therapy. and therapy is bad. or we don't need it. but i would say no. we don't need therapy. we need responsibility. we should honestly acknowledge out inability and then take responsibility for it thru self observation so we can see how we can work to improve this issue of being in touch with feelings and emotions in a creativer context.see how effectively we express emotions in different situations. normal situations. be more aware of it! we can pretend to be clowns but that is all it is. pretending. mimicing. acting like. putting on a fake mask. it is not being. we're fooling ourselves if we think it is. it is of course
like the whole world in which we pretend, put on masks,play roles, without ever being authentic or getting to the truth of anything. we never do experience the real joy of being a clown. and that is something worth experiencing. it's not a negligible issue. look at laurel and hardy. the marx brothers. how wonderful it
would be to emulate these marvellous beings! what liberating joy!
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