Once upon a time there was an elephant named Delbert Trunk who liked to look at everything. He liked to look at a tree. He liked to look at a lion. He liked to look at a river. He liked to look at a cloud. He liked to look at a flower. He liked to look at a mountain. Everything! That was all he did. The other elephants in the herd did important stuff. Banking. Book keeping. Stamping about. Inventing things. But all Delbert did was look.
But then he got ill.
He went to the herd Doctor, Dr. Tusk, who said, you have eye disease from too much looking! You must stop. So Delbert did as he was told, for he respected the medical profession, and he closed his eyes.
Forever.
The other elephants led him about by the trunk, so he was okay, but he didn’t look anymore. Not at a tree. A flower. A lion. A river. A mountain. Not at anything.
Nothing! And the Doctor was pleased. You’re cured! Yes, said Delbert. Cured. And everything seemed fine.
But then at the weekly stamp in the big clearing Delbert did a strange thing. He was supposed to stamp to the right, but he stamped, to the left! The herd was shocked. Delbert was called before the elephant council. Why did you stamp to the left? I just forgot. Forgot?! Forgot?! But an elephant never forgets! Sorry. There was much shock and outrage throughout the herd. But it didn’t stop there. Delbert now continually forgot stuff. He forgot to trumpet on hearing a lion roar. He forgot to take some flowers to the elephants’ graveyard. One time he even forgot he was an elephant! In the end it was too much. He was called again before the elephant council. Delbert! You’re banished! What?! Yes. Banished! With a capital ‘b’! but…but… but… no buts!!! Pack your trunk. So Delbert the elephant packed his trunk and said goodbye to the herd.
He wandered in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights until at last he fell in a heap on the floor, next to a cave. Oh why was I so obsessed with looking? Why? Look where it’s got me! But then he heard a noise in the cave. It was the sound of a drum going bum, bum, bum.
Oh no! Now I’m going mad and hearing drums that go bum, bum, bum! But out of the cave appeared a tiger. A tiger? In Africa? Yes. A tiger. And he was banging a drum, and there was a funny look in his eye as if he were flying high in the sky. But then he saw Delbert and he said, in tiger-ish, which luckily Delbert spoke, he said, I am the shaman tiger of the wilderness.
On my magic drum I fly to dimensions unknown, to find answers to tricky questions and stuff. Really? You bet! In Africa? Yes! What’s your tricky question? And Delbert explained.
The shaman tiger thought long and hard and then he began to bang his drum, bum, bum, bum, and that faraway look came into his eye, and it was obvious he was… and eventually he said. I have travelled to the dimension of elephant conundrums and I have it. What? The answer stupid. And he thrust out his paw. And in his right paw were a pair of glasses. These, he said, are elephant conundrum glasses! They aren’t. They are you know. And these glasses will answer your question. And then he disappeared back in his cave. So Del-boy stood there holding the glasses. What a strange tiger. He should be in a circus, or something. Then, without opening his eyes he put on the glasses, and even though his eyes were closed, HE COULD SEE! SEE! They really were magic glasses!! And in a flash he knew what to do!
40 days later he arrived back at the big clearing and there was the herd stamping around as usual. Delbert put on his magic glasses. He looked at the herd, with his magic glasses, and what did he see?
?
He saw a bunch of idiots stamping around from right to left and from left to right, trumpeting at lions, and so on, and doing stuff, simply because they had always done that. Just a bunch of socially conditioned pachyderms! engaged in a lot of absurd ritualistic behaviour patterns, thinking they were important, when in truth they were just being a bit silly. And Delbert took off the glasses and opened his eyes, for now he could see. He didn’t need to look anymore. He could see!
Yes. Delbert had seen beyond the herd mentality which, as ‘Long Trunk’ said, the famous elephant philosopher, is the beginning of wisdom and stuff! And Delbert didn’t identify with the herd anymore, and he went and to live near the waterfall, and he set up a business as an independent trunk examiner, and soon the elephants were flocking, well, not flocking, herding to him, with trunk related issues, the like of which, well, you never, no not like, ever. And he met a nice lady elephant and lived happily ever after.
OH! The glasses? Yes. They are in a special glass case above his desk just waiting for the day when a young elephants get tired of just looking and come to him to ask him, if they can try them on.
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