clowning workshop

"trying to be joyful means that you know perfectly well that you are sad."(OSHO)

went to a clown workshop. idea to learn clowning, which turns out is all about accessing your inner child. lot of hyped up, bright-eyed young things there. only me feeling kinda down and not chirpy. hadn't wanted go. my partner's idea. long story shortened, i think workshop a waste of time. i can't get into it. o horror! surely to the lord this kind of joyful innocent playing must be good?! let me x-plicate. in order learn clowning you must be childlike. full of innocence and wonder at existence. to me this seems a bit 'ultimate'. yet workshop wants you to just go straight there. stand up and be it! to do that you must feel and be how a child is. so we all try but it's obvious it's not really happening and the reason is no one feels a thing! perfect example of this is exercise with a clown's prop. say a funny object. a lavatory brush. now you have to have a feeling or an emotion towards this object. what happens time and again is the object breaks! they come on and it falls to bits. and not once did anyone react by crying! which is obviously what a child would have done. conclusion. People do not feel. do not have access to their emotions in a creative way. they can't channel their feelings in certain context like clowning. therefore their clowning is just inauthentic. and what i think is before we even consider doing the clowning we should tackle this issue of feeling. accessing our emotions creatively. it's dumb and stupid to go straight to clowning and think we can just force the issue. make it happen. this is dumb and arrogant on our part.SO YOU say say, but this is a job for therapy. and therapy is bad. or we don't need it. but i would say no. we don't need therapy. we need responsibility. we should honestly acknowledge out inability and then take responsibility for it thru self observation so we can see how we can work to improve this issue of being in touch with feelings and emotions in a creativer context.see how effectively we express emotions in different situations. normal situations. be more aware of it! we can pretend to be clowns but that is all it is. pretending. mimicing. acting like. putting on a fake mask. it is not being. we're fooling ourselves if we think it is. it is of course
like the whole world in which we pretend, put on masks,play roles, without ever being authentic or getting to the truth of anything. we never do experience the real joy of being a clown. and that is something worth experiencing. it's not a negligible issue. look at laurel and hardy. the marx brothers. how wonderful it
would be to emulate these marvellous beings! what liberating joy!